Oh you have been slack. Soooo slack with this one my boy. Naughty Urchin. Bad Urchin. Laaaazy Urchin. You deserve to punished for this bout of indolence and negligent behaviour. At least 2 weeks detention, 5000 lines and quite possibly 6 of the best. In fact let's do this now, bend end over Urchin, this is for your benefit, not mine. It's high time you learned about the value of integrity, about showing gratitute and delivering your honour. And believe me this going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. Creditability, that is what is at stake here. Do you want to go through life with people thinking that you are nothing more than a shifty, cheeky, cockney con artist. Do you intend to carry on taking food from people's mouths without the merest hint of thanks? Do you want to continue with this project that known universally as Where's My Pork Chop?
No sir. No sir. Yes sir.
Then assume the position and after each subjugation, repeat after me "Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post"
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post.................sir?
Yes boy?
Can I have one more please?
And we're back in the room.
Yes I am so sorry Claire of Green Onions and the much celebrated Shacklewell Nights, it really has been remiss of me to dawdle getting your contribution written up. When it comes to this blogging malarky, regularity and consistency has never been my strongest forté. In fact I don't really know what my forté is. Eating, yes that's my forté and it was well worth making the journey to deepest East Laaandan to meet you and have a chat, albeit a brief, freezing one under the purple bridge at Hackney Central on a particularly grey November day. And of course it was great to sample your delicious food, which was so plentiful that even my beaming colleage got to try some later that evening. Your pumpkin and sage soup, which I actually had for lunch after meeting you, was velvety and comforting and warmed me straight through. It was just the ticket after that arduous bus journey back to the office, shivering on the top deck, muttering to myself that I could have shuffled back on my arse cheeks on the pavements from Hackney and got into Barbican quicker. Speaking of cheeks, your braised ox cheeks were immense, they simply melted in the mouth and were so so good. Your creamed swede mash, luxurious and sweet along with pearl barley and tender celeriac, all amounted to real stick to yer ribs, honest home cooking and it was beeeeyootiful. Like I said, for my work mate, it was like Christmas had come early, although thankfully he didn't quite understand where I got the food from (I can be very vague at times). So thankfully, the whole WMPC thing is still under wraps, kinda. And to finish with your frangipane fig tart, well that was the cherry on top. Or should that actually be fig? Light and not too cloying, it was the perfect ending and an excellent digestive aid after eating all that meat.
Thanks again Claire, I hope the wine went down equally well and I hope to get to Shacklewell Nights soon x
No sir. No sir. Yes sir.
Then assume the position and after each subjugation, repeat after me "Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post"
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post!
*THWACK!*
Never again, will I take 6 weeks to write up a WMPC post.................sir?
Yes boy?
Can I have one more please?
And we're back in the room.
Yes I am so sorry Claire of Green Onions and the much celebrated Shacklewell Nights, it really has been remiss of me to dawdle getting your contribution written up. When it comes to this blogging malarky, regularity and consistency has never been my strongest forté. In fact I don't really know what my forté is. Eating, yes that's my forté and it was well worth making the journey to deepest East Laaandan to meet you and have a chat, albeit a brief, freezing one under the purple bridge at Hackney Central on a particularly grey November day. And of course it was great to sample your delicious food, which was so plentiful that even my beaming colleage got to try some later that evening. Your pumpkin and sage soup, which I actually had for lunch after meeting you, was velvety and comforting and warmed me straight through. It was just the ticket after that arduous bus journey back to the office, shivering on the top deck, muttering to myself that I could have shuffled back on my arse cheeks on the pavements from Hackney and got into Barbican quicker. Speaking of cheeks, your braised ox cheeks were immense, they simply melted in the mouth and were so so good. Your creamed swede mash, luxurious and sweet along with pearl barley and tender celeriac, all amounted to real stick to yer ribs, honest home cooking and it was beeeeyootiful. Like I said, for my work mate, it was like Christmas had come early, although thankfully he didn't quite understand where I got the food from (I can be very vague at times). So thankfully, the whole WMPC thing is still under wraps, kinda. And to finish with your frangipane fig tart, well that was the cherry on top. Or should that actually be fig? Light and not too cloying, it was the perfect ending and an excellent digestive aid after eating all that meat.
Thanks again Claire, I hope the wine went down equally well and I hope to get to Shacklewell Nights soon x
Pumpkin Soup
Braised Ox Cheek with Creamed Swede and Braised Root Vegetables in Pearl Barley (with Greens)
Fig and Almond Tart
Crumbs. I am quaking somewhat that I will not measure up to all that!
ReplyDeleteSee, this is what happens when you don't keep up - I'd forgotten it existed and I run your blimming fan club ;P
ReplyDelete